A Guide to Writing Your Wedding Vows — Australian Edition
Writing your wedding vows? Don’t know where to start? Feeling overwhelmed? Struggling to sum up all your love, dreams and promises to your partner, knowing it’ll be in front of all your family and friends??
This helpful guide will help you tell your story. I promise that if you follow this guide, by the end of it you’re going to have funny, meaningful and amazing personalised vows!
As a celebrant, your vows are without a doubt my favourite part of your wedding day. Since your success is my success, here’s what I want you to do:
The TL;DR Version
The purpose of wedding vows is to make promises to your partner about your love and commitment to them.
Rather than staring blankly at this:
Please copy and paste the following into your Word or Google document:
My Vows
5. Say “I love you” then tell you why I love you —
4. Say I’ll always be there for you, even when times are tough and how we’ll get through it together —
3. Share a personal story about us that highlights are relationship —
2. Acknowledge where we came from, and how we’re better together than apart—
1. Make my promises and commitments I’ll keep for you —
Now, simply use them as prompts to fill in the gaps. For some of you this will be enough to get started. As for the rest of you, continue on!
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should my vows be?
As long or as short as you need — say as much or as little as you want. I know that’s not particularly helpful, so I’ll say this:
On average, wedding vows are ~4–5 paragraphs /~200–400 words / ~half an A4 page / ~2–4 minutes.
Do I need to personalise vows?
No. Just the legal minimum is fine.
But I highly encourage you to personalise them. Your marriage vows are important in setting you guys up for the rest of your life.
What’s the legal minimum I have to say?
“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, [YOUR FULL NAME], take you, [YOUR PARTNER’S FULL NAME], to be my lawful wedded [WIFE]/[HUSBAND].”
You can replace WIFE/HUSBAND with SPOUSE where appropriate.
Note: this legal minimum applies to Australian weddings only. Please check with the officiant of your own country for your legal obligations.
Do I need to memorise my vows?
No. This is not expected of you. If you send them to me before the wedding, I’ll have them printed or on the iPad ready to go for you.
If it’s just the legal vows, you can just repeat them after me. Simple as that.
Of course, the above only applies to you if I’m your celebrant.
Structure
Marriage vows are all very different and personal, but they all flow in the same way. This next part expands on the TL;DR version to give you a base on what to go by, so you’re not just staring at that blank A4 page.
Please copy and paste the following into your Word or Google document:
My Vows
1. Who are you to me?
[Your Partner’s Name], you are my best friend… / partner in crime… / my everything…
2. What do I love about you? Why am I marrying you?
I knew I loved you the moment we…
The first time I saw you I…
I realised that…
I love that you…
3. What is a personal and memorable story about us?
I remember the first time we…
Remember the time we…
4. What do I promise to do for you?
I promise to be / give / tell / laugh / encourage…
I promise we’ll…
I vow to…
I pledge to…
5. What does the future look like? What are specific things we will do together?
With you we will…
I will…
Together we will…
As for the legal part, you can either start your vows with it, insert it in the middle or end with it. Whichever flows and sounds better, so long as it’s in there somewhere.
Prompts
Need more prompting? Simply answer the following questions, and you’ll find that you’ll end up with plenty to say.
Please copy and paste the following into your Word or Google document:
Why did I want to marry you?
What was my first impression when I first met you?
When did I first know I loved you?
When did I know I wanted to marry you?
What are the little things I notice and appreciate about you?
What am I working on in our relationship to make it stronger?
How have you changed me, and my view of the world?
What do I know now that I didn’t before because of you?
What inspires me about you?
What was travelling with you like?
What do I miss most about you when we’re apart?
What goals and values do I share with you?
What do I admire about you?
What’s the most annoying thing about you?
What obstacles, adversities and challenges have we been through together?
Vibe
Any of the above answers can either be taken seriously or light-heartedly. This depends on you and the relationship you have with your partner.
Do you know how to push your partners buttons, and make them laugh and cry? Absolutely go for it. Just don’t feel like you have to. So long as you’re real and sincere, anything you say for your vows will work, 100%.
Hints and Tips
- Write the list in bullet point first, then make them into sentences and paragraphs later.
- Get your vows sorted and out of the way at least a week before the wedding. You’ll have other stuff on your mind leading up to your big day.
- Talk to your partner about it. You can still keep your vows a surprise, but definitely talk about stuff like: How long are your vows? Are you going for light hearted and jokes, romantic and heart felt, or a mixture of both? Do you intend to make me laugh, cry or both?
- Limit your in-jokes to 1–2. You’ll want your guests to also follow along.
Past Samples from Real Couples
Okay, so now you have 3 different sets of prompts to copy and paste. They should cover everything you need to write your own vows. Now get going and start writing!
Wait, what’s that? Not all of you will sit down and knock out your own vows?
Sigh. Okay. I hear you.
So, here’s the link to my website with vows from real couples — who were all in the same boat as you — and they want to help you with your vows. It’s free to use and access anytime — no subscription, and no pay wall. Happy now? I’m sure you are! Here’s that link to your cheat sheet:
So there you have it.
Armed with the above and some samples, you should be well on your way to funny, meaningful and amazing personalised vows! You’ve got this!
