How to Fall in Love in Just 1 Date
I want you to fall in love.
Yes.
And I don’t mean to say ‘be loved.’ That’s something a teenager would say. What I’m daring you to do is something much more — dare to love another human being.
There’s a certain kind of happiness you experience from loving someone. In loving, we strive to be our best selves. We celebrate being human.
Loving is good for the soul.
I guess you expect it to just happen to you. As if love was an event or a phenomenon. You meet an attractive stranger across a crowded room and it’s on, right?
Well, not quite.
But I know something that certainly helps.
It begins with 36 questions.
Here’s how it works: 2 people begin by asking each other a series of escalating personal questions. And, because the level of intimacy gradually increases with time, you don’t notice you’re in the deep end of the pool until you’re neck deep or in over your head.
You’ll even learn something about yourself. You’ll enjoy learning about your partner even more.
We all have a story about ourselves we tell to others to protect our ego, but these 36 questions make it impossible to rely on it.
It’s the kind of intimacy you get from a road trip, or travelling in a foreign country far from home. Staying up all night with a new friend, it’s natural to get to know someone that quickly.
Most of us think about love as something that happens to us. A circumstance, situation or good timing.
I prefer to think of love as an action. Something that you choose to do.
You can’t choose who loves you, although I’m sure we’ve all spent a part of our single lives convinced otherwise. You can’t create romance from convenience or compatibility.
All you can do is give it a chance with someone who is willing to do the same.
You may be surprised at the results — you don’t agree to try something designed to create romance if you’re not open to it happening.
What normally takes weeks, months or even years to achieve is now done in a single conversation.
These questions are broken up into 3 sets, each more personal than the last.
Do people actually fall in love from doing this? Yes.
Set 1
1. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. What was the last thing you taught yourself how to do? Why did you want to learn it?
4. What would be the ‘perfect’ day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To another person?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 or retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. What are your biggest passions in life? What activities do you do to indulge them?
8. Name three things you both appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set 2
13. If you could know the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close are you to your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set 3
25. Make three true ‘we’ statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
27. If you were going to become close with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them — be very honest, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your home catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely save one last item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most upsetting? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Ask your partner to reflect back to you how you feel about the problem you have chosen.
