5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Married
Is getting married right for you?
What do you need to know before you get married?
Before you get married ask yourself:
5. Why am I getting married?
Be honest about it.
Do you just feel like you should be married?
Why do you feel that way?
Make sure you aren’t using your marriage to avoid or escape something.
- If you feel that you have to talk yourself into it — don’t get married.
- If you have to talk your fiancé into it — don’t get married.
- If someone else is talking you into it — definitely don’t get married.
4. Did I plan for a wedding or a marriage?
Flowers, cake and a big reception are fun and all, but there’s more to your relationship than that.
Your wedding is one day — your marriage is a lifetime.
Being married isn’t the goal — anyone could get married. Being a great partner to be married to, now that’s worth planning for and aspiring to! What does your next 50 years of your life going to look like? How does you and your partner fit into those 50 years?
Come to an understanding with your partner about how you’ll handle children, money, careers, family, retirement, etc.
3. Do I know and trust my partner? And do they trust me?
The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.
What was your partner like in previous relationships?
How do they treat you?
What have you and your partner learnt about marriage from your parents?
What are you like with your other relationships?
2. What’s the emotional cost of my relationship?
If you have to give up your friends or family, then the cost is too high.
If it doesn’t work out, are you going to be emotionally hollowed out? Do you have love and support from family and friends?
It’s better to be healthy and alone than to be in a life draining relationship.
1. Have I set my needs and expectations?
It’s healthy to have goals in your relationship. Express your needs and expectations now — not when you’re already married.
What are your deal breakers?
What are your partner’s?
These are all difficult questions with no easy answers. But better to ask ahead and prepare for the future, than to suffer the consequences of a life you didn’t want.
