13 Critical Life Lessons They Didn’t Teach You in School aka. Adulting
I’m pretty sure you have no idea what you’re doing right now.
I’m willing to bet you’re stumbling blindly through life, quietly hoping nobody notices that you’re screwing up.
School didn’t prepare you for life.
Family didn’t prepare you for life.
Society didn’t prepare you for life.
These 13 life lessons are ESSENTIAL to functioning as an adult, yet no one talks about any of them!
And I’ll be honest because this is why:
Wisdom is remembering something forgotten. Wisdom is not understanding something new.
Even if you thoroughly read this article, it’s still not enough. You won’t absorb the scale and magnitude of each lesson, and you will eventually forget you read this article.
But years on, this list will still be here and you will remember.
That’s because all these lessons are first principles. Foundation ideas. The big problem is, we don’t learn through first principles.
We learn through metaphors.
Kinda like a dog chasing a car, but when the car suddenly stops and is stationary, simply existing, the dog wouldn’t know what to do with it.
See how that somehow made more sense to you because I talked about a dog instead of an idea?
Metaphors.
1. All advertising is aspirational — NOT inspirational or representational
Media is not there to improve or educate you. TV, radio, news articles, social media — they are all there to SELL to you. Sell you a service or product, an idea or a lifestyle. They don’t care about you. They’re just there to maintain a perpetual state of anxiety, so you take action/inaction to fulfil that anxiety. Nothing more, nothing less.
That anxiety is what drives every purchase on the market.
If you’re uncertain if they’re selling you a product, then YOU are the product.
2. If you’re seeing it — it’s for you. You consume it to confirm your own beliefs
That meme you laughed at about that thing you like?
That post you read that you agreed with?
That video you shared with your friends?
That article that got you infuriated?
All of it is confirmation bias. You don’t look for information and ideas that you disagree with. You are happy to live with what you know, even if what you know is wrong.
3. You and the system will do everything it takes to defend against change. Stop letting the system tell you who you are
The establishment will tell you who you are. What to do. Everything is structured for you to fit in as a piece in the puzzle, a cog in the machine.
The economy is a self fulfilling engine, built around buying and earning money to continue buying. It is the source of wealth, health, security and stability — and it will therefore never go away.
4. It’s called a confidence game. Why, because you give me your confidence? No, because I give you MINE
You can’t cheat an honest man.
You can only be conned if you think you’re winning at someone else’s expense.
5. The problem with media is that it tricks you into debating the conclusion while accepting the form of the argument
“Which pet do you think is better, cats or dogs?”
The answer is it DOESN’T MATTER.
What questions SHOULD be asked instead? What are you being distracted from? What are they NOT drawing attention to?
6. How do you simplify a complex story? Start with the basics— what does the author want to be true?
What does the author BELIEVES to be fundamentally true? What assumptions are being made?Who benefits from this message? How are they achieving this? To what purpose does this story serve?
What tone is being used? What facts are presented? What facts are omitted?
In the centre lies the truth. But you have to work at it to identify where it is: the truth will never be just presented to you.
7. Adolescence has been extended indefinitely into adulthood, at a terrible price
Both to you and society.
Many people, yourself included, never really grew up.
You just grew older. But experience, wisdom and accomplishments have eluded you because you’ve done nothing of value for years.
You never learnt to be self sufficient and are still dependent on others, waiting for someone else to take the mantle. You never overcame any burdens or suffer through obstacles that destroyed a part of your identity and so you grew from the painful experience. You didn’t take responsibility for your own circumstances and situation.
This is both your fault, and the fault of the establishment. Take responsibility and pick yourself up.
Get your act together.
8. You can literally sell anything if you promise people they will FEEL better
Feelings dominate and overrule every decision you will ever make. The more primal and basic the emotion, the greater the effect it has over you.
Anxiety and self worth are the 2 big ones, because they affect the subconscious controls that centre around sex, survival and hierarchy.
Anxiety and self worth will influence every purchase you will ever make: House, car, holiday, appliances, food, doesn’t matter.
9. Find a real life role model. It’s important your role model is not fictional
Someone who has been through what you’ve been through. Someone who has achieved what you aspire to achieve. A person you can learn directly and indirectly from, or even mentor you.
You will learn lessons faster, better and more powerful than any book or resource will ever provide.
Also, Elon Musk as he is presented in media may as well be a fictional character.
10. People respond to incentives. Incentives drive everything –economics, war, politics, sex and love
Each decision ever made and will be made is a balance between reward and punishment. Advantage and disadvantage. Moving forward, or stepping back.
Learn what buttons people respond to to achieve their ends. Then negotiate accordingly.
11. All outrage is the result of narcissistic injury. Always ask: what is it about this scenario that is a threat to my identity?
The more overwhelming the outrage from the narcissistic injury, the more primal that part of your identity is:
Identifying as a human with free will.
Identifying as a man or a woman (or rejecting to identify as either).
Identifying as a good or righteous person.
Identifying as a member of your faith or religion — what you believe to be true.
Identifying as a mother or father, husband or wife.
Identifying as a member of your culture and family.
Identifying as a citizen of your nation, political party and what your country stands for.
Identifying as a member of your interest group: sport, music, pop culture, etc.
Identifying as your job and the part you perform in society.
Identifying as a member of your friends and where you fit into those groups.
Identifying as what you consume: diet, apparel, electronics, etc.
12. The purpose of narcissism is to protect identity and defend against change
You as you exist now — your identity and ego as you are now — will do everything in it’s power to resist change. It will deceive you, shame you, and manipulate you into not changing.
And you can’t grow, if you don’t change.
That’s because growing as a being is a destructive process. A part of you MUST die in order for you to grow. Those parts of your identity don’t want to die. Even if they’re wrong. Even if they’re bad for your health.
Growth and development doesn’t mean letting go, like a bird out of a cage.
It’s closer to pulling out a rotten tooth without anaesthesia.
It must be done in order for you to get better and you’ll be glad you did it, but it’s incredibly painful and you’re not gonna like the process at all.
13. You are what you do
You are not what you tell yourself you are. You are not what someone else tells you you are. How you feel about yourself has nothing to do with what you are:
Students study. Musicians play music. Writers write.
Anything that keeps you from changing is the defence mechanism for bad habits: reading about, thinking about, planning for, buying for, talking about, posting about — anything BUT taking action towards your goal is defense against change.
